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The Cat
"Hehe!!!! Tism Up!!!" The Cat is a man defined by simpleness. So simple, in fact, he cannot read this very description. (Disclaimer: do not be fooled by the picture at the right, The Cat does not actually know how to read.) His lack of literacy was first documented in the reading of Beowulf in the legendary 7th Period British literature class of the 2011-2012 academic year. After being ridiculed continuously in this class, the Cat sought to change the following year. The Cat spent the entire year in Dean Jackson's English class taking vigorous notes, attending backwork everyday, scheduling weekend study sessions, and staying up late into the night practicing his reading after finishing studying physics with his mother, Audrey. Dean's final examination consisted of one single essay, the prompt of which was: "Write out the word CAT" Vegas had the over/under on his score at a 7%, believing his scribbles may form a curve that could be interpreted as a mediocre C. To the surprise of everybody, the Cat received a remarkable score of 84% on this exam. A copy of which is available below David received markdowns for improper orientation of the line in the middle of the A and failing to use a capital T. David has since made cat the premier word of his vocabulary (with o no!!! and mhm tailing close behind). He is currently enrolled in English 000: Survey of the Alphabet at Auburn University. While one may think the Cat is stupid for his illiteracy, his brilliance can be shown in two other areas: Chemistry and Pottery. David enrolled in Honors Chemistry and 3D-1 Studio Design I his sophomore year, both classes becoming the shining pinnacle of his academia. David's brilliant pineapple sculpture still adorns the art studio to this day, stealing all glory from JKim's renowned masterpieces. David was so successful at Chemistry and Pottery he has enrolled in summer camps for both. David has another notable hobby, offroading in his jeeps. David loves color so he collects different color jeeps. He currently owns a red one named Buj and a yellow one named Yeller, though these colors are usually tainted by copious amounts of mud splattered across the vehicles from David's adventures away from the asphalt. Though he loves offroading, while onroading with these vehicles David's life in constantly in peril from broken axles, exploding engines, lack of any safety features, and a whole host of other mechanical shortcomings championed by Jeep. The Cat is also known by another alias, Dash. This name was created to represent his partnership in a dynamic duo with a begrudging Flash. This partnership began aboard the SS Strickland in the mutiny of Captain D in which Flash and Dash worked together to maroon the pussykin captain at Rust, a foundry located in the middle of the desert. The bond forged upon that ship carried strong, today the due still cooperates on a variety of tasks from scuba to the craft. The Cat was born in 2008, making him six years of age. This youthful spirit possessed by the young boy gives him boundless energy and an insatiable desire for affection. He uses his energy running around and doing whatever he thinks will be fun. This is an enjoyable habit for many in his presence, but for characters like Flash it is an uncanny nuisance. The energy has also caused Jake Garden many an issue, as Dash's bouts of excitement often lead Dash into his garden and subsequently Dash tramples and steals his many plants. Dash's energy and love of annoying the Scientist also makes him a perfect accomplice for the Seamanator's schemes to ruin the Scientist's experiments. David has a colorful Gilbert Games history, being a part of nearly every scandal to hit the games. From the get go, he and another worthless member of the games sought to box in The Scientist on a daily basis. This led to the passing of Rule #10. David also forfeited Sean Caleb Barden Casey to Sam Carver, allowing for the mutilation of the defenseless mascot of the MEC. David also served as an accomplice to D in the spamming of the games. He also served as one of the top targets of the photoshop empire of Flash. Currently the Cat resides in the Tism Suite in Hollifield Dorm at Auburn with his roommate D. The Cat spends his time at the plains studying for his immensely difficult English classes, tisming up, cheering for the War Cats, going to the rec center with Milesplit, messing with the perpetually passed out D, helping Kelly Morris, being a member of Lammmbda Cat Alphsha, and not contributing to the group message.